Disappear, Gultiano. Disappear.

You have stooped so low.
I didn't think even you would go that far.
Maawa ka sa sarili mo.
Nakakahiya ka.

I think of the effort you exerted to maintain the illusion, all the lies you said and the little details you came up with, and I feel sorry for you. Radiology exams and a Makati condo indeed. You stripped yourself of your name, your face, your voice, your entire identity for something that wasn't even real. You have no respect for yourself. Is it really a surprise that people have no respect for you?

You knew full well that I don't want to have anything to do with you, pero pinipilit mo pa rin ang sarili mo. You get turned away at the front door so you sneak your way in through the back. But no matter how hard you try, you can never stay. Because the fact remains that YOU ARE NOT WELCOME.

The dignified thing to have done would have been to accept things and walk away with your self-respect intact, but then again, you never had that in the first place. Instead, you debase yourself to the point of denying everything that you are to get something you never deserved.

You are disordered in a most fundamental way.

I don't know if you know this, but the rest of us do. People make fun of you behind your back. They mimic your voice and laugh. Your classmates have no respect for you. You are loud, irritating and bossy. Your own officers are against you. Hindi ka maayos kausap at katrabaho.

Epal ka. You are KSP in the extreme. As in kulang na kulang. Palagi mo nalang sinisingit ang sarili mo sa mga tao kasi hindi mo matiis na walang pumapansin sa 'yo. Nagpapaka-importante ka kasi alam mong walang kakausap sa 'yo kung hindi mo sila kakausapin. You're almost universally disliked, and you know it, but you can't accept it, so, as usual, you create a make-believe world where you're okay and popular, living a life that you know is a lie.

You are pathetic.

There's more than enough of us to let you know that we don't want you around. So do us all a favor and stop inflicting yourself on us. Know your limits and stay there. Stop crashing our lives. You're not invited. You don't deserve us.

You deserve not even this. It is an act of charity that I even acknowledge you're alive. So take the hint and remove yourself from our lives.

Maglaho ka na.

Note: I got this letter from a former friend a few years ago after a nasty fight. After viewing the merciless letter after all these years, it still amazes me how narrow-minded individuals still exist. Nevertheless, this post signifies my long-awaited exodus to the darkest era of my dark/twisted/broken/jaded life. Yipee! :)

Coffee, anyone?