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For some strange reason, I have been watching romantic flicks for over a week now. "Watching" means the non-stop, one-movie-after-another sort, to the point wherein one falls asleep with his or her Mac turned-on till the wee hours in the morning kind. Anyways, after each film, I usually found myself crying and/or sobbing my eyes till they pop followed by sudden walkouts from my room filled with well-deserved sorrow and unhappiness, that my co-workers think I'm going ballistic or something. Weird, eh?
I remember the last time I felt this way: it was way back in 2007 or 2008 over Jennifer Love Hewitt's film "If Only" with Paul Nicholls. I just had coffee with my bestfriend, Caren, at Starbucks Gateway Mall when I suddenly found myself trudging the outskirts of Cainta, Rizal to the nearest movie house (Robinson's Metro East, I think). There, I bought the ticket that lead me to an incessant rampage fueled with anger and frustration producing an insurmountable number of tears.
The said movie wasn't THAT bad, really. It was actually nice and warm. The plot was moving, the characters were decent and efficient, the lines were a little cheesy and forgettable but the overall appeal was touching. Not to mention that the movie seriously made me cry! A few bystanders were actually giggling at me after the movie stating "What a sissy!" Yes, I am a sissy. So what?
I still am, actually.
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And then there's the classic movie "Casablanca" starring Ingrid Bergman and Humphrey Bogart. Directed by Michael Curtis, this spellbinding 1942 film set in french Morocco during the World War II preceding the infamous Pearl Harbor attack has seriously made its mark as one of the greatest films ever made.
Rick Blaine (Bogart) is a pessimistic American running a cafe (Rick's Café Américain) in the City of Casablanca during the German invasion of Europe. Coming from a bitter and short-lived love affair with Norwegian Ilsa Lund (Bergman) that blossomed in France, he tends to be apathetic to what is happening to the people around him, especially the Nazis. Unfortunately for Rick, Ilsa reenters his life with Victor Laszlo (Paul Henreid) in the aforementioned cafe and rekindles their heart-warming memories with the famous line "We'll always have Paris."
What I really love about this Academy award-winning motion picture is the atmosphere it wraps around its viewers: The melancholic scenery plus the nostalgic impression was cleverly placed at every single corner that you can effortlessly feel that you're there in Casablanca. Moreover, one can easily relate to every character in the said story; Blaine's resentment over Ilsa was definitely surreal and Bogart's portrayal was amazing. I can't think of any other actor for this specific role. Meanwhile, Bergman's performance as Ilsa is, without a doubt, mind-blowing. Her potent acting has got to be one of the best I've seen. Bravo!
This film has its special place in my dumb heart. Seriously, I've watched this classic so many times that I've memorized some to the scenes and lines. :-D
Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine. - Rick Blaine
And, let's not forget the 1961 revolutionary musical, "West Side Story." No mortal words can describe this cultural phenomenon. I'm still flabbergasted after watching this one! Crap! Arrgghh!
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The list just goes on and on and on. I eventually lost track of all the movies I've watched with this sort of theme. From the classics, such as An Affair to Remember, to the most recent (The Twilight Saga), they're as infinite as the sky. At times, I actually mixed some of the characters and lines that they really sound funny! Imagine, Ashton Kutcher with Mandy Moore on "Its a Wonderful Life" or Aubrey Hepburn and Marlon Brando doing "Sleepless in Seattle" would be something, right? Haha. :-D
"Why are you doing this to yourself?!" a concerned friend asked a few days ago. I chuckled at the idea of answering such nonchalant inquiry with regard to my emotional state. I mean, the reality and significance of this specific question is just amazing and comprehensive that answering it will cover everything that has been happening to me ever since this whole fiasco began. Seriously!
Frankly, my dear, I have no idea. Fighting a lost cause has been my hobby since my high school days and it tends to manifest itself when deemed necessary. The likes of "falling in love with someone you're not supposed to" or "liking someone you formerly loath" or even both is a very tricky thing indeed. Take it from me: Been there. Done that. Get the bigger picture, mate?
On a more serious note, given the complexity of my current situation, I have thought of one simple thing: Live my life to the fullest. Yes, it is a social cliche, quite repetitive and, at times, very, very unreasonable. But the thing is: I want to. I need to. I have to. I want to be there where it happens. I need to feel that particular person's presence. I have to do this because it feels right for me. It sounds rubbish and selfish, yes. Pretty cheesy and emotional, for that matter. Nonetheless, I don't want to leave any sort of regret in my big fat head as long as I live. Regrets can kill, you know. As Lou Pardini would put it in a song, "I don't wanna be a fool wondering what might have been..."
What now? Well, honestly, I don't know. It's just the 2nd day of my grand 4-day-off scheme and I don't plan on doing anything significant for the next 2 days. Not to mention that my supposedly trip to wonderland has been declined by the other party. So, I might as well lie on my lonely bed and wonder on something random or sleep my heart out. Silence is a form of therapy, right?
Coffee, anyone?
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