To Don and Nemfa

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A couple of days ago, I received a private message from a close co-worker of mine. She was, from my stand-point, very concerned about my current status that she thought of writing something like this:

juan paulo gultiano!kng mahal mo pa sarili mo,you better stop your "kahibangan" with (name here)!it's not doing you any good.magfocus ka sa ibang bagay na mas importante para sa future mo.this is just a friendly reminder.you know how much we care about you.i hope you'll think about this.= (

I opted not to proof read the entire message just to keep the feel and intensity of the matter at hand. Thank you, Nemfa. I know that you'll be reading this crap a few hours from now and I expect a worthy comment. Haha.

I am thankful of the fact that a few, if not most, of my dear colleagues are, to some extent, looking after my best interests. Its not  often that you see a complete nobody turned office mate saying "Hey, you should get a bank account for your kids." or "You seem to be interested in politics. My dad's a mayor." Blah. Blah. Blah. I really, really appreciate it. I do. Thank you so much.

But the thing is, I will make the final call for this untimely event. I chose to be here with (name here) because this is the only option that I have. I can't be with anyone else other than the people I'm used to be with. Besides, residing on the other side of the fence would only breed another issue that I don't want to answer.

Don, I treat you like my older yet smaller brother (no harm meant there). You have always been there for me, watching/laughing/teasing at me all at the same time. The good and lively laugh trips were, of course, the best. Even the crying incident was definitely phenomenal! Seriously! But, this is just, I think, a phase in which I have to go through. The "kababawans" and non-sensical stories are all a "NOW" thing. This will pass. I'm sure of it. We barely know each other and (name here) isn't showing any signs of the "getting to know" stuff which is A-Okay with me.

Nemfa. Nemfa. Nemfa. My dear, sweet, Nemfa. You know very well that I am fighting a lost cause, as we speak. Hoping that (name here) would feel the same way is as impossible as winning an Apple iPhone from Tradeline or something of that sort. I am not in love with (name here). I'm just fond of that weird feeling that we all get when we're close to someone that we truly and deeply like. Nothing more than that, okay? I'll get over this. Trust me.

I'm not mad at anyone. I'm actually mad at myself for letting this folly get out of hand and mess with my big fat head. The taunting does get out of hand most of the time and it seriously sucks. The continuous bout of questions about domestic life can be very irritating and I honestly hate it. I need to handle this f*cking affair head on and, most likely, ignore everything and everyone.

As Leona Lewis would put it, "I'm just tryin' to be happy."

Thank you for the concern, Don and Nemf. You guys are the best. :-D

Coffee, anyone?